It doesn’t matter if you’re a designer, artist, writer, programmer, video game geek or engineer, we are all stuck in front of a computer for more hours than we spend sleeping, playing or running errands to support our daily lives and it’s safe to say we all love those little toys that jazz up out computing existence. Some of us go crazy for collections of USB jump drives, hubs and gadgets and some of us will just buy anything that will amuse us while we tippity-tap away at our keyboards. It doesn’t mean we’re weird or crazy… although we know we are but life should be enjoyed, so here’s some products you shouldn’t live without…

I once interviewed for an ad agency that was so large, they had bicycle racks at each end of the office and one in the middle with a dozen bikes for people to ride from one end to the other. The president of the agency would tool around on a gas-powered scooter. I ended up accepting a job at a large corporation that covered a dozen acres of land, filled with multiple buildings and an employee parking lot a half mile from my office.  Getting from building to building in the “cult compound,” as we called it, took forever and making meetings on time, without huffing and puffing was impossible. I wonder if this SoloWheel would have helped?

Let’s face it… if you’re the head of your department, wouldn’t you want this chair to order your staff around? When time for layoffs and firings would come, you could just give out red shirts to those who were doomed. “Over here captain… AAAAAA!”

Books are the portal to information and entertainment. Why not just give in to that statement?

Keyboarding was never so exciting and stimulating as when they key to a hard days work lay in your own lap. Just don’t keep hitting the enter key!

You’ll get lots of uninterrupted work done with this soft, rubber mouse with left and right click functions. Probably because coworkers will be too afraid to enter your cubicle!

When Human Resources  comes knockers… er, knocking on your office door, just tell them it’s a piece of modern art. If you get away with it, please write us so we’ll know that excuse really works.

It also holds a pen in its mouth… if that’s any comfort to you.

You’ll be the toast of the office with this toast and toaster USB drives and hub. Butter be ready for people thinking you’re well-bread!

And what’s toast without a little tea? Personally, I’m disappointed it’s not the real Mr. T. that sits in the water. “Mmmm, I’m burnin’ my jibber-jabber off! I pity da tool!”

Love the sound of FedEx packages ripping open? Well, this handy sound machine from Japan has a pull tab and sound that will give you ripping pleasure all day. It’s also a handy keychain so you can take that office feeling home with you!

When Luke Skywalker cut off the wampa’s arm, who would expect someone to pick it up and make windshield ice scrapers out of it? And I thought the tauntaun sleeping bag was weird!

Are you a cubicle warrior? Well, your coworkers will sure tremble at your approach when they see your computer armed and dangerous with a pistol or grenade mouse. The pistol has left and right click function and the grenade is… not, but it’s close and you know what they say; “close only works with horseshoes and … hand grenades.”

Let’s take “paws” to get serious for a minute. While I have no idea why they chose a dog’s paw for this product shot (maybe it was a “ruff” day?), I personally function well with a handwritten calendar/to do list. So why not have something like paper note pad mouse pad for daily tasks? It’ll remind you if you have a “bone” to pick with someone!

Any good detective will tell you that if you want the goods on someone, go through their garbage. I had to do this once with a crazy assistant but after finding notes from her doctor and letters she wrote to an ex-boyfriend, all I found out was she was a stalking cauldron of bubbling STDs. I didn’t fire her but I wouldn’t sit in her chair or touch her keyboard anymore. Protect your inner secrets with this handy personal shredder. Like the picture of this Japanese document with “US” on it, you can rid yourself of any incriminating evidence.

It’s not cool to be found viewing videos on your iPhone or iPod, so disguise it as a TV with this handy cardboard TV set holder… because watching TV at work is better?

It may not be polite to point but when you push pixels eight to twenty-five hours a day, followed by endless hours of Minecraft, those sharp edges become your comfort and joy, so why not share them with everyone?

Domo arigato, phone roboto! From Japan, it doesn’t walk but it does talk and has a friendly face while you listen to your caller blather on about who-knows-what. Why go for a phone stand when it does it all by itself?

Sure, you can sit in your industrial gray office or cubicle or you can use blood bath wallpaper to brighten everybody’s day as you show them the path to happiness… the PSYCHOpath!

Your co-workers will “relish” your company in the lunchroom when you whip out this tasty gat. You may, however, be in a “pickle” when the folks from Human Resources “ketchup” to you!

While having fake weapons in the office might get you fired, corporate consultants will use laser tag or paintball as a “team building exercise.” Go figure! Well, why wait for these overpaid eggheads to suggest these games when you can turn lunchtime and the maze of cubicles into an augmented reality shoot ‘em up with your smartphone, wifi and these adapter grips. Don’t just sit and get fat while playing Risk or Allies and Axis board games during your break. Run! Jump! KILL!